The Wave

Yesterday, while on a call discussing the intricacies of our pricing strategy for an upcoming tender response, one of my colleagues blurted out in shock: “Oh my God, he’s gone.”

This immediately sent a shockwave through the call as we all processed what he had said.

Then, what seemed to happen in rapid succession, came disbelief, then sadness for him, for his family, for us as a team losing him. And then for me came the thought: what are you doing?

Our pricing strategy discussion was halted as we all shared our disbelief and wondered what could have happened. He was young, vibrant, intelligent, a key member of our leadership team. Just this week he had been on calls and everything appeared fine.

I decided we should end the call and reschedule for the next day, because it was clear that pricing strategy was not our priority at that moment. We all agreed to reconvene in the morning.

This morning I woke up thinking about him and that call. I was thinking about what the announcement of his passing did to those of us on the call, but also what it would have done to the hundreds of us across the organisation as we collectively read the message from our CEO.

I imagined an energy wave passing through all of us at once. It was a grief wave, but it was also a wave of something else, almost an awakening, for any of us that needed it. For any of us that had been going through our daily activities at work, doing our best in our roles, pushing to the side our other aspirations for whatever reasons. Don’t have the time. Can’t do both. I’m meant to produce for others and not for myself. Whatever the reasons.

I don’t know where that energy went as it passed through us all. But energy cannot be destroyed, so it is out there somewhere. And I decided to accept it.

I imagined raising my hand and touching it as it passed over me. A gift, from someone who no longer needs it.

I wonder if you’ve felt something like this before and not quite known what to do with it. A moment where something difficult moved through you and, inside it, something else was being offered, if you wanted it.

We’ve been taught that grief is only grief. That hard news is only hard news. That the good stuff arrives in obvious packaging. So we feel the wave, and then we file it under “Difficult”, and we go back to what we were doing.

But sometimes there is something in it worth catching. Not despite what caused it, just alongside it. And you can choose to reach up and take it.

I did. And it felt like the most honest thing I could do.

If you’ve been putting something off, and you know what it is, consider this your wave. You don’t have to explain it or justify it. Just decide whether you’re going to catch it.

Thank you.